Baby measured two days ahead of where I guessed my O date was so we are officially due 4/16! Heartbeat was 100 and 117 the two times they took it.
We just had a wonderful meeting with the homebirth midwife. DH really liked her and has now totally switched his thinking. We go to the birth center thursday too and he said "unless we really love the place or the midwives or something I see us going with her... homebirth!" Total 180 from before.
She is totally like me. Wants to do things naturally if there is a way but her words exactly " i am not going to give you herbs or waive incense over you to stop a hemmorage, I have meds ready" ... she is just a lot like me. Very down to earth and just wonderful!
Yeah DH said " I was expecting some hippie etc" haha. I think he was not sure of what to expect and she is just a totally normal girl and she actually just ended up with a section 7 weeks ago after her planned homebirth... so she knows when to say when etc. But I think the fact that he knows we are going to get the same experience at the birth center and she is just as prepared etc. The birth center is about 5 minutes closer to the hospital. Its 5 minutes away and our house is 10.... so its still not FAR away etc.
I am going to talk with my OB just so I don't burn that bridge and let her know that while I love her ... its not what I want for my birth as long as it stays low risk. But if it doesn't I want to be able to go back to her because I like her.
I will still have my 12 and 20 week ultrasounds to make sure is all ok.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Monday, August 23, 2010
Happy Ultrasound day to meeeee.
I so could not sleep last night! Very excited/anxious this morning!
My morning sickness has also started and I of course want to eat nothing I can cook around the house, therefore we are having to go out. Oh well. It will be gone in 2 months ( I hope). I can delve into savings until then to avoid getting sick.
My morning sickness has also started and I of course want to eat nothing I can cook around the house, therefore we are having to go out. Oh well. It will be gone in 2 months ( I hope). I can delve into savings until then to avoid getting sick.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Is it monday yet???
Goodness. Time is going BACKWARDS!
I have defensive driving tomorrow and Sunday we are taking Tyler to Fiesta Texas so hopefully both days I will be nice and distracted!!
I have defensive driving tomorrow and Sunday we are taking Tyler to Fiesta Texas so hopefully both days I will be nice and distracted!!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Shame...
So, yesterday at a church function a girl told me about a pregnancy resource center here in town because she has seen how worried I am on my facebook etc. So she proceeds to tell me that they give ultrasounds "anytime". I know that they give these to deter women from abortions to see a heartbeat etc. I mulled over it all night and decided to go. I did not lie or tell them that I was "underprivileged" etc. I told them that I was worried all the time and that my doc was giving me one later etc.... but I figured it was worth a try and that I could at least see the sac etc.
No dice. They don't do them until 12 weeks.
I just had to confess that to someone that I tried to get a free ultrasound today because well... I just really wanted to see the baby.
I am also totally considering going to the psychic down the street.
Speaking of psychics here is the "reading" I got a while back.
No dice. They don't do them until 12 weeks.
I just had to confess that to someone that I tried to get a free ultrasound today because well... I just really wanted to see the baby.
I am also totally considering going to the psychic down the street.
Speaking of psychics here is the "reading" I got a while back.
GIRL - SEPTEMBER so this is either birth month, conceive month or the month you find out in
When it comes to your daughter they show her as someone who can be easily distracted. Often finds herself doing more than one job at a time and just seems to be excited to be able to do it> Shes always so exciting and energetic, and you can't help but have a great time when your around her, even when you were in a bad mood previously.
I actually see her looking similar to you, her hair is a bit lighter, and she tends to keep her hair a bit shorter than yours. Often tucking the one side behind her ear almost as if by habit and not really even thinking or realizing that shes doing it.
Shes always going to be the type that is really self sufficient. Tends to take on her own jobs and ideas, and does not have to rely on anyone else to do something for her. She takes pride in what she accomplishes and just wants the recognition she feels she deserves. Shes someone who is pleasant to be around and well mannered. Always asking questions that interest her. Shes not someone to waste her time either and would much rather find things to keep herself busy.
I am seeing her always being creative and "free" does not really want to do something that is going to keep her tied down or committed on the long run to something. Shes someone who likes to be impulsive and finds people to be too stuck in their lives at times.
When it comes to career paths, they show her starting off in photography. I see this being something that is more linked to the news, working with things like the national geographic and enjoying it.. feeling that after many years in this, is linked to working as a doula/midwife and baby portraits.
When it comes to marriage I See her closer to 25. They will have two boys of their own.
BOY - AUGUST - so this is either birth month, conceive month or the month you find out in.
Your is curious about everything. he is the type that would rather just look at something before getting involved and being able to tell how things were put together, what the strongest parts where and the weakness parts. What he would have done differently..etc. Hes amazing when ti comes to thinking things ahead and is often able to come to a viable solution before most people. he is always really smart. The type that can often out maneuver most people in chess because hes able to think ahead of the play where as people are just playing out the moment.
i am seeing him as someone who is creative, hes more interested in buildings and designs and is often drawing up his own ideas. I think that you will find that he is able to dream big and not get easily discouraged. Often wanting to be the best at everything, but is the type to be happy as long as he has done his best. There are times when you will realize how hard your son is on himself and often doing things over that you would have said where perfect, yet he felt were lacking. Giving him "jobs" that he can do that take a bit of thought and time is something that keeps him happy and busy. He likes to be challenged, but also loves to be helpful.
When it comes to career paths, they show him linked to working as an architecture, they show him designing things that are bigger and taller than your average building.
He is the one to also be really into sports. I see him more along the type of person who likes to help wtih the planning and running of the team. Often ends up being more of a team captain. I See him following soccer in a more "coach" or assistant coach when hes older and takes the sport very seriously. (its not a kids team)
When it comes to your daughter they show her as someone who can be easily distracted. Often finds herself doing more than one job at a time and just seems to be excited to be able to do it> Shes always so exciting and energetic, and you can't help but have a great time when your around her, even when you were in a bad mood previously.
I actually see her looking similar to you, her hair is a bit lighter, and she tends to keep her hair a bit shorter than yours. Often tucking the one side behind her ear almost as if by habit and not really even thinking or realizing that shes doing it.
Shes always going to be the type that is really self sufficient. Tends to take on her own jobs and ideas, and does not have to rely on anyone else to do something for her. She takes pride in what she accomplishes and just wants the recognition she feels she deserves. Shes someone who is pleasant to be around and well mannered. Always asking questions that interest her. Shes not someone to waste her time either and would much rather find things to keep herself busy.
I am seeing her always being creative and "free" does not really want to do something that is going to keep her tied down or committed on the long run to something. Shes someone who likes to be impulsive and finds people to be too stuck in their lives at times.
When it comes to career paths, they show her starting off in photography. I see this being something that is more linked to the news, working with things like the national geographic and enjoying it.. feeling that after many years in this, is linked to working as a doula/midwife and baby portraits.
When it comes to marriage I See her closer to 25. They will have two boys of their own.
BOY - AUGUST - so this is either birth month, conceive month or the month you find out in.
Your is curious about everything. he is the type that would rather just look at something before getting involved and being able to tell how things were put together, what the strongest parts where and the weakness parts. What he would have done differently..etc. Hes amazing when ti comes to thinking things ahead and is often able to come to a viable solution before most people. he is always really smart. The type that can often out maneuver most people in chess because hes able to think ahead of the play where as people are just playing out the moment.
i am seeing him as someone who is creative, hes more interested in buildings and designs and is often drawing up his own ideas. I think that you will find that he is able to dream big and not get easily discouraged. Often wanting to be the best at everything, but is the type to be happy as long as he has done his best. There are times when you will realize how hard your son is on himself and often doing things over that you would have said where perfect, yet he felt were lacking. Giving him "jobs" that he can do that take a bit of thought and time is something that keeps him happy and busy. He likes to be challenged, but also loves to be helpful.
When it comes to career paths, they show him linked to working as an architecture, they show him designing things that are bigger and taller than your average building.
He is the one to also be really into sports. I see him more along the type of person who likes to help wtih the planning and running of the team. Often ends up being more of a team captain. I See him following soccer in a more "coach" or assistant coach when hes older and takes the sport very seriously. (its not a kids team)
Thursday, August 12, 2010
Is it the 23rd yet?
I am so excited! I really can't wait to see the baby bean in there. I am hoping all is well and doing a little bit better today. I think I am better now that I read something from Dr. Hale about the tetrogenic period being from 20 days past conception and I am at MOST 19 days right now so I can relax some about that ER visit! I am not sure of my exact ovulation date because of the positive ovulation predictors for a week... so we will just see. Its only a difference of maybe two days so its not a very big deal!
Tim and I will be going to tour the birth center soon and I am really excited! I hope to have a water birth! I go back and forth on whether to have my family there including Tyler. I think if we had a homebirth it would be ok for Tyler to be here obviously but with the birth center ... there is no tv and toys and it will likely be better of for me to not be focused on him and just be focused on the birth!
Tim and I will be going to tour the birth center soon and I am really excited! I hope to have a water birth! I go back and forth on whether to have my family there including Tyler. I think if we had a homebirth it would be ok for Tyler to be here obviously but with the birth center ... there is no tv and toys and it will likely be better of for me to not be focused on him and just be focused on the birth!
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Home vs. Birth Center
I really am not sure what I want to do. I have had friends that had amazing home births and I really would like to experience that. Had I not had a C-section I would do it in a heartbeat but I think I am leaning towards a birth center. It is still rather "medical" but I think it would be a good middle ground. They have amazing birth tubs there. The main reason I want a homebirth over birth center is I would only have ONE midwife where as I would have 6 possible at the birth center kind of like an OB office. I would also like to be in the comfort of my home but that will entail cleaning it .... and it might be kind of nice to just have it all pretty and ready at the birth center. One plus for the birth center is the proximity to the hospital. It only takes about 10 minutes to get there from our house but its only 1 mile from the birth center. I am hoping that will not matter though... but due to the very small risk of uterine rupture it may be good to be close. The only reason I needed a c-section was due to poor positioning and that would not have been an issue had they not broken my water and I needed an epidural because of the horrible pitocin contractions. So had I been given some movement options I am sure I could have pushed him out. Its a good thing that my body dialated all the way as that means it *should* this time as well. I also had a new nurse that didn't help me move positions when it was time to push even though we knew he was "stuck". If I could have done it again I would have kept pushing...but nothing I can do about it now but make better choices this time!
I am really excited to let my body do what it was made to do in a natural way!
Ah, decisions decisions.
I am really excited to let my body do what it was made to do in a natural way!
Ah, decisions decisions.
Starting Belly picture
Wow, I can't believe I am posting my fatness for the world to see.
Here is 4 weeks with Tyler.
Now. You wouldn't think it but I weigh the exact same. I never lost my belly with him and I am already TERRIBLY bloated. .. . ;) Also my boobies are a tad bigger I think. Forgive the mess in that room. Got the maternity clothes out.
Here is 4 weeks with Tyler.
Now. You wouldn't think it but I weigh the exact same. I never lost my belly with him and I am already TERRIBLY bloated. .. . ;) Also my boobies are a tad bigger I think. Forgive the mess in that room. Got the maternity clothes out.
Worry
If anyone can find a way to make me stop worrying please throw it out there.
I am almost on the verge of panic attacks 50% of my day because of worry. I do pray and try to give it to God but I worry about so many things. Mainly its that something is wrong with the baby. I am so worried all day about this because of the medicines I took early on in my pregnancy. I know that in the first few weeks that little bean is totally protected but .. well I didn't pretend to be sane. Even though the doctors, pharmacists and nurses all told me that the meds I was taking are even safe all through pregnancy and are given to pregnant women all the time. I tend to blow things out of proportion. I sometimes don't trust the medicial community because of their feelings that its ok to give every woman pitocin and strap her to a bed to have her baby which usually leads to a c-section. I do like my doctor and I don't blame her for the way my birth went. Its the entire OB world right now that seems to not want to let your body do what it was designed to do... ok, sorry for that tangent.
I had been doing so much better too. I was worrying a lot right after Tyler was born and was pretty much a hypochondriac afraid of leaving him without a mother. I think it was hormonal but it was awful! I had been so much better the last 8-9 months but well... its back.
I am almost on the verge of panic attacks 50% of my day because of worry. I do pray and try to give it to God but I worry about so many things. Mainly its that something is wrong with the baby. I am so worried all day about this because of the medicines I took early on in my pregnancy. I know that in the first few weeks that little bean is totally protected but .. well I didn't pretend to be sane. Even though the doctors, pharmacists and nurses all told me that the meds I was taking are even safe all through pregnancy and are given to pregnant women all the time. I tend to blow things out of proportion. I sometimes don't trust the medicial community because of their feelings that its ok to give every woman pitocin and strap her to a bed to have her baby which usually leads to a c-section. I do like my doctor and I don't blame her for the way my birth went. Its the entire OB world right now that seems to not want to let your body do what it was designed to do... ok, sorry for that tangent.
I had been doing so much better too. I was worrying a lot right after Tyler was born and was pretty much a hypochondriac afraid of leaving him without a mother. I think it was hormonal but it was awful! I had been so much better the last 8-9 months but well... its back.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
410
My number was 410! That is amazing. It is a doubling time of 1.5 days and they want 2-3 days! People are throwing out the word twins which will make the ultrasound in two weeks even more interesting.
I really can not understand people that feel the need to throw out an opinion on home birth when they know nothing whatsoever about it . I guess people just think I am around saying "ima gonna birf my baby at home in my kitchen" thinking that I have done no research on the mattter.
I really can not understand people that feel the need to throw out an opinion on home birth when they know nothing whatsoever about it . I guess people just think I am around saying "ima gonna birf my baby at home in my kitchen" thinking that I have done no research on the mattter.
Monday, August 9, 2010
Blood
The doctor called and my UTI is gone! This is good because I didn't want to do more rounds of antibiotics! I am glad I went with my gut and had them reculture instead of just treating blindly!
The doctor wanted me to go in for more blood today so I went about 4 hours ago... now just waiting for the results. Waiting. Waiting.Waiting
The doctor wanted me to go in for more blood today so I went about 4 hours ago... now just waiting for the results. Waiting. Waiting.Waiting
Spotting...
Yesterday while I was trying to help "extend" Tyler's nap past 20 minutes my heart started racing and I got really worried. I got up and went to the bathroom to find some brown spotting. I freaked out of course and went and got some more tests to make sure the line was darker... It lasted only a couple trips to the bathroom and then went away! Thankfully it has not shown up this morning! I will keep praying that it was just leftover from implantation. I spotted some with Tyler for 3 days but my miscarriage also started with brown spotting. But that time I woke up to plenty of blood and thankfully that was not the case this morning. I am actually feeling a bit nauseated today as well. I tried to eat a Lara Bar and I think cinnamon may be a problem this pregnancy. It hit me around Christmas time with Tyler because we were in the mall and all those cinnamon coated nuts and stuff were making me SICK! I couldn't even finish the apple pie lara bar.... I know its crazy early to feel sick but I am happy I am feeling a little sick!! I have also been very tired in the day and its starting to feel a little sensitive when Tyler nurses!
I go back for blood work Wednesday! I hope to see numbers in the 800's. That will be the proper doubling time from last week.
I go back for blood work Wednesday! I hope to see numbers in the 800's. That will be the proper doubling time from last week.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
Here are all the books I have coming!
~~A Holistic Guide to Embracing Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood ~~ Husband-Coached Childbirth (Fifth Edition): The Bradley Method of Natural Childbirth.
~~Your Best Birth: Know All Your Options, Discover the Natural Choices, and Take Ba...ck the Birth Experience
~~The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
~~The Complete Organic Pregnancy
~~The Natural Pregnancy Book: Herbs, Nutrition, and Other Holistic Choices
~~ And the Dr. Sears Pregnancy Book.
I also started re-reading the Ina May Guide to childbirth!
I AM DETERMINED THIS TIME to have a different birth and pregnancy.
~~Your Best Birth: Know All Your Options, Discover the Natural Choices, and Take Ba...ck the Birth Experience
~~The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth
~~The Complete Organic Pregnancy
~~The Natural Pregnancy Book: Herbs, Nutrition, and Other Holistic Choices
~~ And the Dr. Sears Pregnancy Book.
I also started re-reading the Ina May Guide to childbirth!
I AM DETERMINED THIS TIME to have a different birth and pregnancy.
Well, God listens!
We found out last week we are expecting number 2! I am so very I happy with this but you know me, I am worried beyond belief because of the medicines I was on this week and last for the horrible UTI I had last week that ended me up in the ER. I know that it is really early and the baby and I don't share a blood supply for a while but I tend to worry a lot. All of the meds were B and C which are all given to pregnant women all the time! The pharmacist and doctor and multiple nurses and a doctor friend have reassured me that it is perfectly fine and the worry I am doing is likely worse than the meds. I fully know that I am crazy....
My beta numbers were 27 when we checked them last week and my progestorone was 32! When I was pregnant with Tyler it was 37 and only 8 with my miscarriage so I hope that it means this baby is going to stick! We are going to rerun blood work next week and then I will have a viability ultrasound in 3 weeks or so! I can't wait to see that perfect little heartbeat.
It does upset me that I am already starting out this pregnancy in a way I didn't want to. I want this pregnancy to be the opposite of Tyler's which was filled with worry and stress. I want to have a VBAC possibly at home and I really need to be in a positive place to accomplish that!
My mom and Tim are both concerned with the thought of a homebirth so I am going to start getting all my acts together for them so I can make them feel better. My mom made it seem like she would not want to be here anyways so I guess I will call her when I start pushing... I actually do think I may have it just be me and Tim. We can share it together. I think I do want my friend Alyssa here as she had a great homebirth and I would like some moral support and also someone I would feel comfortable taking pictures of everything. And I mean everything!
We are going to meet with the homebirth midwife that delivered my friend Alyssa's baby and also go to the birth center for a tour and to meet with those midwives! I am 99% sure my doctor has no idea that after this ultrasound and final numbers that I plan on leaving and not turning back!
I just hope that I can work with a midwife because I tend to get a little worried and extra crazy and I hope that I can have them be a calming force in this pregnancy and help me to confirm that birth is a normal part of life and not a medical event. It is something my body is supposed to do normally and people have been doing it since the start of time and only in the last 100 years has it been brought into the hospital and more women are dying than most people think. Infections, blood clots from surgery, and the list goes on and on.
My beta numbers were 27 when we checked them last week and my progestorone was 32! When I was pregnant with Tyler it was 37 and only 8 with my miscarriage so I hope that it means this baby is going to stick! We are going to rerun blood work next week and then I will have a viability ultrasound in 3 weeks or so! I can't wait to see that perfect little heartbeat.
It does upset me that I am already starting out this pregnancy in a way I didn't want to. I want this pregnancy to be the opposite of Tyler's which was filled with worry and stress. I want to have a VBAC possibly at home and I really need to be in a positive place to accomplish that!
My mom and Tim are both concerned with the thought of a homebirth so I am going to start getting all my acts together for them so I can make them feel better. My mom made it seem like she would not want to be here anyways so I guess I will call her when I start pushing... I actually do think I may have it just be me and Tim. We can share it together. I think I do want my friend Alyssa here as she had a great homebirth and I would like some moral support and also someone I would feel comfortable taking pictures of everything. And I mean everything!
We are going to meet with the homebirth midwife that delivered my friend Alyssa's baby and also go to the birth center for a tour and to meet with those midwives! I am 99% sure my doctor has no idea that after this ultrasound and final numbers that I plan on leaving and not turning back!
I just hope that I can work with a midwife because I tend to get a little worried and extra crazy and I hope that I can have them be a calming force in this pregnancy and help me to confirm that birth is a normal part of life and not a medical event. It is something my body is supposed to do normally and people have been doing it since the start of time and only in the last 100 years has it been brought into the hospital and more women are dying than most people think. Infections, blood clots from surgery, and the list goes on and on.
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